The Love Revolution | Ep 39

Let’s face it. Falling in love is an amazing feeling. The biological, psychological, emotional, and spiritual powers of love make you feel like you’re getting caught in the pull of an exhilarating wave. Finding true love is worth trillions of dollars. Can we do it with our thoughts by surfing through realities? In this episode, I explore the world of reality creation and love. I explore all aspects of love and relationships when using the law of attraction and reality transurfing.

As we move into this reality revolution the most popular category in law of attraction literature is manifesting love.

Can you create love with a specific person? Should you try to manifest a specific person? Can you find your soulmate through reality creation techniques? Can you use the power of your mind to find true love? What role does importance and pendulums play? What role does our 2 million-year-old brain play in creating programs that affect the love in your life and how to overcome it?

I include some exercises to help you find your true soulmate and to maintain a relationship once the honeymoon is over. As we begin to embrace love over fear in the world, it starts in our own lives and finding love in all things in the present moment. Maybe one the ideas or techniques in this episode can help you find your soulmate, your twin flame or simply the true joy of having love and being loved.

Music by Chris Zabriskie http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Chr
Creative Commons — Attribution 4.0 International— CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/

Welcome to the reality revolution. I’m your host, Brian Scott, and this is dedicated to all those spirits out there who believe life is meant to be magical. In first year, we ventured to share the very mysteries of self. In reality. My purpose is to help light that spark inside of you to reawaken your sense of fascination and odd towards the world. I’m going to try to help you hack reality and unleash your potential and open unlimited possibilities of wealth, health, and relationships in your life. Today’s episode, we’re going to talk about the love revolution in the reality revolution. We’re going to talk about everything that’s related to reality creation and finding love in your life and having that great relationship that you always wanted. You know, I’ve been studying reality creation for a very long time. Law of attraction and reality, Tran surfing, all kinds of different consciousness studies, but one thing that I didn’t really study as much and through some recent research, you know, is the idea of falling in love through reality creation, finding your soul mate, finding your twin flame. It’s a very popular topic in the law of attraction community. Any group that I’m a member of right now, the baby elephant, all of these, when you, when you go on, most people are trying to manifest the SP, they say the sp and that is their lingo for specific person. And there is a whole group of videos on youtube that are talking about manifesting the specific person, different ways of manifesting love and understanding love. And so there’s so many different aspects of, of this. This is so complicated. Obviously there’s a million books that have been written about this and there’s a trillion love stories that you can read and Romance novels because love is one of the most complicated and fascinating subjects as a part of humankind. It is wonderful and powerful thing. It is my belief that when we see the planets move, the very gravity that’s moving, people don’t understand why gravity works. It’s because love the movement of every celestial object is the movement of love. Love is what runs the universe. It is an energy, a very powerful and wonderful and perfect energy. So when did you first fall in love and how did you feel in your body when you fell in love at first time that you had your first kiss? Where were you when you had that first kiss? When you had those butterflies in your stomach or you really wanted somebody and they didn’t want you, when was the first time that happened? Or when you, when you don’t want somebody and they and they really want you [inaudible]. It’s one of those things, it’s such a complicated subject, but the really interesting aspect of it, as I’ve talked about, the reality revolution is a real thing. Right now we’re experiencing a w an awakening, a shift in the way we actually live in this world. We’re starting to understand the true power of quantum physics in the way that our minds interact with particles around us on a regular basis and we’re starting to see the power of our own minds to create reality and we’re seeing advancements in technologies that make time faster and faster and shorter and the ability of our decisions have much more wider scale. And by going out and sampling larger and larger statistical samples, our own consciousness is able to create better and more wonderful and perfect and fantastic lives in every way, shape and form. We are going through a singularity. This is going to be so wonderful. Everybody is going to be so prosperous. Information will be just sheer information. We’ll be able to be used to create matter. We’re going to see AI as we’re going to see incredible things that are all good. People try to look at the future as this doom and it’s not. It’s not. It’s going to be wonderful. It’s going to be powerful. And Rao, we see reality revolution where more and more people are starting to realize how the there, the power of their attention and focus, the use of their minds in a certain way can manifest realities around them. Of course it takes action and all kinds of different things, but right now the really interesting aspect of law of attraction and reality creation, reality, Trans Surfing is how do we fall in love with somebody? What is the best way to fall in love? Can you fall in love and find a soulmate? Is there a soulmate? Is there only one of them out there or is there many soul mates? But how does it work and how can I attract my soul mate to me? And oftentimes as a coach, it’s the, it’s the number one reason. When somebody comes to you and they say, I really want this specific person. It’s almost like they would do a magic spell. And the thing is, I’m ashamed to admit when, a long time ago when I was in high school and there was a girl that I really, I thought, well, maybe it was just a freshman in college and there’s a girl I really, really wanted. And that, and the town that we were out there, there was a, there was a store that they sold magic spells and I, and they had, I’d love spell that. I can pay for 10 bucks and I wouldn’t go to love spelled done. Of course nothing happened. The Lovespell didn’t work. But the idea that there is magic out there that can create love and how does love work and what is the best way. We are powerful in so many ways. We create our own realities by our sheer observation. The way we collapsed waves around us is an amazing and wonderful thing, but there’s also a responsibility with this power in my beef. You can definitely manifest and use these tools and techniques manifest a perception in your life. If there’s somebody you really want, you may end up losing a lot in the process. And just by getting together with them does not mean that you manifested love. And a lot of times you’ll manifest pet for professor specific person and it turns out they weren’t who you wanted in the first place, but you did the manifesting. So you’ve lived literally manipulated a person into your life and you have to take responsibility for that. So you have to understand your power. And then there’ll be a point in time where your own soul will feel guilty if you have any [inaudible]. So what I call it for him. What I’m saying is that you can create somebody like the specific person. Oftentimes it’s better if you have specific person that you really like. Don’t go for that specific person. You want to go for the general idea of somebody similar, but it’s much more complicated than that and there’s so much more to it. As the Buddhist says, you yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve, you’ll love and affection and let’s face it, falling in love is an amazing feeling. The biological and psychological and emotional and spiritual powers of love make you feel like you’re getting caught in the pole of an exhilarating wave where you can think of nothing but being with your beloved of intertwining and body and soul again and again and again. What could possibly be better? What are you thinking as you fall into into your beloved’s arms, but right now it’s never been a better time to be single and it’s okay to be single. You don’t have to have a relationship nowadays. You can choose when you want to have a relationship. The proliferation of dating apps on Internet, all of them, match.com there’s so many different ones. If you go on there, if you start just with Tinder and put your picture up, you’ll start to get responses no matter what shape you’re in, no matter where you’re at, literally you have such a gigantic pool. You can be so specific in the way that you do this and they’re, each dating website is different and you can find different kinds of people at diff sites. If you’ve got a Christian mingle.com that might be better. There’s so many different ones and it’s very interesting to explore. The story I can tell you is when I was in deeply into my business, and please don’t laugh or make fun of me because it’s true. When I was deeply into my business and I didn’t have the time I wanted to date, but I didn’t have the time to go through those dating websites and talk to people on didn’t. I really only wanted to meet them in person, but I didn’t want it to the process. And then I read on Tim Ferriss one on his blog about virtual dating, cause he talks about virtual assistants quite a bit. So the idea is there’s a company that offers virtual dating services. So they take over the responsibility of all your dating. Th they, they put you on all the websites, every single one. And they go and they initiate conversations with different girls and they hire copywriters to start with the conversation. Then they’ll approve through you, whatever they’re going to say first. Uh, but so then you start thinking, is there people out there that are doing it on the other end? So as their virtual dating assistant talking to a virtual dating system. But that bottom line is, I knew what I, what they had said. And so when I met with them, then I, you know, I could still act like I had said that and then it didn’t feel genuine. And, and all of the times I went on those dates, it never worked out. But that gave me an idea. I could see the way that they did. And it’s not difficult and you just have to focus on it. If you want to find the love of your life, just put a little bit of time into it. Put Your, put yourself out there. If you’re selling an opportunity, be p be specific about what you want. But there’s so many things that you need to know. The pickup artist industry, particularly on the male end is it seems like a big dollar industry. Cut Peppers and mentors and relationship coaches all around coaching men how to date, how to find dates, how to pick up girls. And so women, are you aware of these techniques? And they are, they aren’t. That’s what I noticed. One of the things that you should read is the game by Neil Strauss. He, um, basically kind of goes undercover and lives with a group of pickup artists in Beverly hills and they all live in this tension together. So, and it’s pretty interesting and it’s a very good book. But basically these, these guys would go out and they would, they would experiment with every type of pickup line and they would work together. They called it surging. So if two people went out together, they would have a script that each of them would use. And the they experiment went with all kinds of hypnotic, a dunk induction techniques and stories. They would bounce back and forth. They played through the psychological profiles of their competitors, um, having different scripts. If there’s an Alpha in the room or if the girls with the boyfriend, they had a specific strip scripts and they got better and better and better at it and it became a science. And so a lot of times when you go out, you see these people that are using these scripts and it just takes away from the joy of falling in love because don’t you remember that time when we can spontaneously fall in love? Those times when we could go to a bar or go to an event or the grocery store and we can meet somebody that you didn’t meet online and you just said, hello, my name is and whatever, and then you just introduce yourself and start talking. We become so locked into our war or our digital worlds. There was sometimes we lose touch with the outside world and maybe our soulmate is right there. Finding your soulmate can be coached and I’ll talk more and more about it, but if you look into this more, there’s so much more to it. To understand relationships you, we deeply need to understand women and men. And the key thing that I have learned and the way that [inaudible] reality is created using these reality creation models and quantum physics is that our brains are controlling a little bit of the way our attention works, especially in just think of your brain, not as your brain, but at a million or 2 million year old brain has evolved over time and it’s gotten better and better and it’s become this thing that over a very long period of time it carries signals and new peptides and different neurological signals and chemicals and markers that are inside the brain that create neural patterns inside the brain and they’re locked in those neuro patterns. A lot of times we’re born with them because the way our brains are put together. So sometimes this can define way we act and we don’t, we don’t, aren’t aware of it. Once we become aware of it, it’s another script that we can break but is something to be aware of. So the idea is your soulmate is out there and if you keep your eyes open and are aware of now is the best time ever to fall in love and to find love and more people are falling in love than ever before because it’s out there and it’s possible. The biggest thing I see personally is a fatal flaw and that is the, there’s a lot of people because they have so much choice, particularly some beautiful girl out there, right? Who can has so many different choices, like 30 or 40 choices that they never trust the person that they’re with because they always think something better is going to be around the corner. Is it sometimes falling in love is not about the person that you’re with, it’s about the person that you are yourself. And that we could literally at some point of consciousness, be in love with anybody because we are in love with everybody. Love is universal. So understanding how love works is goes beyond just that concept of love. 67% of marriages fail 67% so that means two thirds of every marriage is going to fail. Why are they failing? You know, in that moment of love, you’re not likely to be aware that this high is fleeting and the intensity of your feelings is going to wane and this will probably be a good thing. The truth is that every relationship and variably reaches a point of predictability and you feel numb from day to day life and the natural conflicts and resentments that can build up over time. You’re desperate for a little variety, but the biggest mistake is resigning yourself to the idea that this burnout is loves inevitable conclusion. When in reality there’s a relationship waiting for you that far exceeds the excitement and novelty of the honeymoon phase. The energy in the human body, in its purest potential has been calculated by physicists to be 10 times greater than the energy in a typical hydrogen bomb. This was calculated with Einstein’s famous e equals MC squared using the mass of an average human body, 150 pounds or five pounds or 70 kilograms. If you’re willing to claim and use your energy and apply it to this world, there is nothing but pure potential. The idea is that we come from a hunter gatherer type of situation and women had a different role early on as our brains developed, they had to gather, so they had to gather the berries and they had to know when the plants would come up at the right times. And so they needed to be aware of all the different places at the same time. And when they would speak with other women, they would have what they call meadow reports, where they would share information and they would talk. They’d say, well the berries are over here and this is what happened. And so they would share a lot of information, but the hunter would go and have an objective and he would be out and he would bring something home. And so when women start to share their metal report, similar to how they talk to the woman, they talked to the man. The man doesn’t under Stan, he doesn’t understand because she wants to give him a metal report. And so then she feels like she’s being violated because she is not with the way that she’s giving the metal report. She’s not seeing that he’s responding and he doesn’t respond. So it’s an understanding of the way the brain works and understanding how women and men communicate. But part of a good relationship is this loss of sharing. And once we don’t share, it leads to a loss of trust. Men Filter out content and share the objective of the hunt. When two men share too many details, they lose trust with each other. In order to gain trust, your partner expects certain things in your communication. You have to overcome negative slides that you create about yourself. I meet a lot of people that easily can be in love, but they have a self image of themselves and that they believe that they’re too ugly or overweight or whatever it is. They always create an excuse. I call it a slide and these slides effect the realities that we move towards. An interesting stories on ray day to loose, we’ll track the famous French painter. He broke both legs and Childhood and was physically handicapped his entire life. And what growing up the trek, he was deeply depressed because he realized how ugly he was. And as the years passed, his deformity became even more evident, causing him to suffer deeply. And then there came this point at which he has distress, reached its peak, and he was forced to accept the inevitable. And he finally overcame the limitations of his deformity and threw himself into life. And as soon as he let of the importance of his condition, the slide cease to exist. And good fortune came his way. Aside from realizing his talent as a painter, he was also extremely popular with women. And the trek was one of the founders of the famous Moulin Rouge cabaret in Paris. And he was loved by many women and not only for his paintings. So this idea that you can’t be loved is ridiculous. There’s, there’s this path in a lifeline for you, whether your, your beauty shines and can’t, we all just agree you’ve met somebody that was not particularly attractive to you. And after a little while they become attractive. Everybody becomes beautiful once you get to know them in a certain way. Whatever ugliness they have goes away. It’s almost like our minds reshift their face and I know we’ve all experienced this. Once you get to know somebody, they start to look different because our minds begin to create in our own interface a more beautiful person that we see and on the, and broody is in the eye of the beholder. I can tell you though, there is that thing and you need to find a way to find your inner confidence. In my case, when I was growing up in high school, I had a huge gigantic underbite where I can put three fingers in front of my front teeth to the, to the the teeth when I, and it was just very embarrassing and I had tried to have braces forever but it was just, you know, there’s nothing I could do. The only thing they could do is break my jaw and take some of the bone out and break the top of my jaw and reshape my whole face. And it was expensive and complicated and I had to get braces for like six years to maneuver my teeth so that they were straight before the surgery. So my teeth got worse before they got better. And then when they did the surgery, they broke my top of my jaw and then they broke the bottom of my jaw and they put bone from my hip around the top of the John filled in the bone. And then wired, wired my jaw shot for several months while it healed. And I could not smile before that. So when somebody saw a picture of me before that time, you would never see me smile and I would hold my mouth together because if you saw my underbite, I’d be very embarrassed. But once I woke up in my let my face, he on a got better and I could smile again. And I realized the power of my smile. I was able to be loved when I couldn’t be loved before because I didn’t think I deserved it because of my underbite and I could have easily loved. Now that I realize it, I could have found love in many ways even with my underbite, but I didn’t realize that because you create the faultiness of yourself when you start to create these images or slides or beliefs about yourself. So you must find love and yourself and the number one thing that you can do to find love is to find love for yourself. I can tell you that was my greatest realization once I began to truly love myself. It was easy to find love because it’s easy to love something that loves itself. If you don’t love yourself, nobody will want to love you. So the first thing, wherever you’re at and whatever you’re doing, it’s okay. In fact, it’s critical for you right now to find love for yourself, no matter what your flaw, find love for yourself. You can do this. Of course, you can study the idea of falling in love and you may have a role model that conservatives example like a demonstration copy, but not as a yard stick or template to be emulated. Your yardstick for finding love is your soul. Simply allow it to explore all its qualities within your current sector. It is better to put a photograph of yourself up on a wall and admire that than someone else’s image. Loving yourself is extremely beneficial and constructive. Loving yourself leads to self approval is only punishable by balanced forces if accompanied by disregard for others. You really are a unique individual and in this sense no one can compete with you. Just give yourself permission to be yourself. There can be no competitors to personal uniqueness. Remember that you have a right to your own individuality and you will have a huge advantage over those who try to copy the experience of others. You will not get anywhere by striving to become like him or her. Become yourself. Allow yourself this luxury, however long it takes while you wear the mask of an existing star. At most, you will be a copy and at worst a parody. No stars. Don’t do not become stars by copying other people. When you give up on futile attempts to be like someone else, everything will work out. Likewise. When you cease futile attempts to repeat other people’s scripts, everything will work out. When you acknowledge the brilliance of your own individuality, other people will have no option but to agree with you. Allow yourself to be presumptuous enough to have all great actors play themselves. This might seem strange because the roles they played differ, but personality, character and charm given actor away immediately. The hardest role to play is the one where you play yourself and allow yourself to remove the mask and be yourself. It is much easier to play someone else because putting a mask is comparatively easily and the actor will have the professional skills to pull the roll off. It is infinitely more difficult to remove the mask, but if you can take off the mask, what ensues is not role play, but what they call life on the stage. It only seems difficult, but in fact deciding to have is quite straightforward. All it requires for you to shake off the stereotypes imposed by pendulums about love and once and for all claim belief in the infinite possibilities of your own soul. No matter where you’re at, no matter what your situation, however ugly you think you are or not, deserving of love, you deserve love. There is nothing any pendulum can do to stop you. If you reject the experience of others and give yourself permission to be a star, all they can do is imbue you with oppressive thoughts. Like a star has to be beautiful and I’m not beautiful. A star has to be able to sing well and dance, but I cannot. Uh, star has to have talent, which I do not have. I have not got what it takes. I’m better of watching how other people do it. That is not script that you’re following when you follow yourself. But true love, pure the true love. When you’ve been deepest in love, that satisfaction is beyond compare. True love is yours for the taking. Remember in when you’re in true love, everything starts with you. True love is a state you must move into within yourself first. And once you do, you don’t need your partner do to do anything. Change anything or show up in a different way. You are creating your own reality. You’re not depending on others for love, he or she doesn’t even need to know you’re reading or listening to this or buy into its concepts. Because when you change, your partner changes. When you harness the power of your body’s energy and consciously use it to create true love, you get everything you’re looking for in your relationships. By understanding and harnessing the power of your own energy, you can unlock and encounter a more evolved version of yourself. It’s a self who can handle every obstacle with strength and grace who lives authentically and freely and who loves unconditionally and passionately. But first you have to go back to the beginning and look at how you’ve loved in the past and what is your love story. A lot of times when you look at your love story, your love story is how you learned about love from your parents. Did they kiss in front of you? Because sometimes parents don’t do that. Did they let you watch other people kissing on TV? Because that can change your understanding of love. There are so many different ways to love and understand it. So if you want a specific person, then you can do it. You have to create a very visual movie like setting with multiple events, with strong feelings that you are with this person. You can imagine cuddling with them or eating dinner with them. You can set a plate out at the dinner table even if they’re not there. You can imagine just doing regular things like driving in the car together. As you continue to do this, they will show up in some way, shape, or form. Remember, if you do this, it does not mean that they’re yours forever. You just simply have the opportunity to meet. But true love always shines through in the end. So if you’re doing this, take responsibility for it and maybe it is your true soul mate. Can you truly find your true soul mate when you’re more open to the possibilities? Because I believe maybe 5% could be your soul mate. I mean there’s a lot of soul mates out there. Don’t get into the idea. There’s only one. There is a lot of different ones. That is my belief, but the idea is you have to be open and then once you fall in love, you have to stay in love. And there’s some different things that we learned from that. Number one, there’s six human needs, six human needs that you need for love comes from being a child and everything. First of all, you need to certainty for a woman or man, they need to be certain about the love. Number two is variety. It can’t be the same thing over and over and over. Number three is they need to feel significant. They need to feel important and significant. Number for is love and connection that you’re connected to each other. And number five is growth, and number six is contribution. Rejection breeds obsession. Oftentimes the source of the problem is the, there’s the blueprint. So you have a blueprint that you’ve created about love, going back to your beliefs of it, and that oftentimes is the source of your problem. You may dislike men or women. You may believe in have certain beliefs about men or women based on your family or some experience that you had, which may be completely wrong, and you may be ascribing stereotypes that destroy your ability to be in truly wonderful relationships. You can do this. You must focus on yourself. If you want to be in, you’re in, you’re in that relationship or you’re starting war. Don’t get into a habit of withholding. Don’t withhold your love. Don’t withhold as punishment. Once you start to do that, that usually ends up being the end of the relationship. Understand a lot of times there’s a battle for attention in a relationship and so somebody may realize that they can get attention by acting like they’re sick because men in general, we’ll go and take care of somebody that’s sick. It’s, it’s our responsibility, but if somebody’s playing like they’re sick, then what happens is we don’t trust that person and even though they get attention, they don’t get a good attention, the proper kind of attention. We learned this as children. We learned to request love and attention when we get hurt. And so that we get hurt to get love and attention because we just want that love and attention. Yeah. Understand that we are still men and women and we have our own ideas and different ways that we integrate in relationships. It’s just like the story of the frog and the Scorpion. Scorpion comes up to the shore and wants to cross the river and says, frog carry me across to see my family on the other side in the frog said, wow, I can’t let you do that because you’ll, you’ll, you’ll poison me on the way. And the Scorpion said, that’s ridiculous. I would never do that. I need to get to the other side. That’s ridiculous. And so they be the, the frog takes the Scorpion and as they’re jumping across the Scorpion bites him and the frog begins to die and says, I can’t believe you did this. You’re killing yourself. Why did you do it in the Scorpion said, because I’m a Scorpion, a nice sting frogs. And that’s just like what we’re talking about. People have their own belief system and identity that they create and that they will let that override. What their decisions are. And so we think because we’re adults, it’s different. As adults we still get hurt and it’s equally important that we get attention and love when we need it. And if you’re not willing to give love and attention and you shouldn’t be in that relationship, the problem comes when you get addicted to attention through pain. And that usually ends up messing up the relationship and our culture. When somebody has hurt, it’s our obligation to help them. Some people realize if they’re always hurt, always in trouble, always in an emergency, they can get attention around the clock. And the problem is that it’s a very low quality attention, not the attention of a passionate lover that is driven to be with you. Understand your attention and how you’re placing your attention. If you haven’t found the love you want, then then place your attention not on the lack of love, but on the love and what love isn’t. Being in love with yourself and the surroundings and you will draw up to you. Pretention is important and if you’re with a woman or if a man is whatever relationship in whatever kind of variety. Usually a woman wants attention all the time. Understand men, men don’t have the attention to give. Oftentimes in this interplay causes problems in relationships. Women treat men like they’re Harry women women process. The amazing thing is men, women process information. We in both hemispheres of the brain and men usually only process in one hemisphere, so women are getting more information is being processed better. Then they communicate their information in these metal reports, so understand attention styles in the way that attention is affecting you. Hunters Hunt and that’s all they can do. Gatherers have to walk around and figure out where everything is at the right time. Women in most cases, statistically through science are not as strong physically as men and so this can dominate the way the relationship is. The interesting thing that I read is that out of a, in a, in a group of a hundred people that Tony Robbins had in one of his conference, 95% of the women had felt unsafe when they were out and about in public and only 4% of the men. So women are in a, in a state of fear, um, by um, uh, not feeling safe and women need safety and they sometimes will come to a man for safety. We are sometimes doing what we’re genetically programmed to do. But if you’re in a relationship, in all you’re going to do is criticize. If you’re coming from that place, it’ll never work to become entangled. It’s just like in quantum physics with two particles becoming entangled. I believe the entanglement occurs when you inspire trust and trust is inspired when someone has their best interest at heart and their interests are aligned. It’s important to appreciate your partner’s language if you don’t have much to say, at least say it with a warm gesture, like a smile or hug. It has a hunter. Don’t come home empty handed every once in a while. Once a week, bring a small gift aligned with the effort your partners making, but understand that women have been preyed upon their stronger emotionally. They can tolerate more pain, but women genetically are looking to be protected and understand that as part of what’s going on. If you’re finding your soulmate, that’s still your soulmate is going to be genetically programmed in those ways. It really has nothing to do with logic. It is 2 million years of conditioning. 95% of women are concerned for their safety in any given month. I believe anybody can heal their romance, no matter how bad you think it is. Love can rule the day no matter what the situation is. If you act as if you’re already in love. One thing I recommend you try every once in a while, three minutes of soul gazing. Just look into each other’s eyes for three minutes. Very powerful. There’s images that cross, but men get stuck in certain behavior habits, rituals, or behaviors, and also men get stuck in certain emotions and it’s hard for them to change emotions, but women can change their emotions quickly because they’re stronger emotionally. I believe all men wants just simply take care of women. That’s what they want to do and they want to take care of an authentic woman. So using tears to manipulate is not authentic. If a man feels that a woman is using her pain to manipulate him, he loses his trust and become suspicious. I’m seeing this because this is when I go deep into these relationship books. That is a common theme is understanding these differences in you know, women or from men are from Mars, women are from whenever women are from Venus. We’ve been talking about this forever and these are obvious things. Sometimes it feels uncomfortable to talk about these differences and sometimes these, these differences are wrong. Everybody’s different. But there is a pattern and it’s an interesting pattern. It’s a pendulum that’s sucking us in. Our genders are pendulums oftentimes, and understanding them gives us greater power over her own situation and alignment. So you know, so men it, they need to learn to be present. I think that’s the key. Women know when a man is not being present. The thing that we have to talk about if we’re going to talk about love, is the idea of the love is pain. If you’re gonna love, you’re gonna hurt and you’re going to suffer grief, and I’ve met people that are so afraid of grieving. They won’t fall in love. They’ve suffered a great loss or something terrible’s happened, and because of that, they can never overcome it to find love again. Don’t let that scare you away from finding love because we will not feel those that grief if we just simply live by living. We finally, we’ll find grief in our lives. If you love, you’re gonna love. You’re gonna hurt relationships or deepened by pain. Oftentimes like a muscle, a scab, holes over any, you end up being stronger because of the pain. It’s a spiritual lesson. Love is what happens a lot of times when people get into habits and rituals where they, they kind of hurt each other in certain ways by the words they use. Don’t do that no matter what. No matter what anger you’re feeling, whatever wounds that you have healed them and create passion in your life, you can’t be harsh or critical with yourself. These wounds will heal through love and acceptance and is worth it. You need to find that inner radiants, that glow of authenticity and finding in the authenticity that we’ve talked about. That’s what creates the radiants. If you express your feelings, it will change. The only thing that will stop relationship with a man. If you close up to them, man, want a woman to open to them. If you open to him, he’ll die for you. He wants you to open to him. People get into a relationship to feel emotion. That’s why to magnify our own human emotion. Our deepest fear sometimes is not that we are an adequate it is that we are powerful beyond measure and light can scare us, especially when it comes to relationships. You can’t be in a codependent relationship. They always create an excess potential by the very codependency of it, do not idealize and overestimate the person that you’re with because it will always end in delusions, disillusionment to experience reciprocal love. You must let go of the right to possess somebody like they’re an object. You always have to pay for expressions of contempt and vanity. If you do that in a relationship, they will always come back to you. No matter what you’ve been taught, you must let go of the need to assert your superiority over anybody because any good relationship, it will not work. I don’t care what you think. Don’t try to hide your shortcomings because it will create the opposite effect. Whenever you hide it becomes more obvious. Your positive qualities compensate for any inadequacies. The greater the importance of your goal, the less likely you are to achieve it. So whoever, whatever kind of love that you want in your relationship or to find somebody, don’t make it important. When we start to make the people that we want important or the relationships we want important, then that’s what works against us. You will be less likely to achieve it. Desires are realized when they are free of excess potential created by projected important and dependency. So let go of of guilt and the need to justify your actions once you follow that path. If you’re being authentic, there’s no reason to be guilty. Let go of the guilt. It is enough to give yourself permission to be yourself. No one has the right to judge you. You have the right to be yourself while you two may be tempted to write off love at first sight. I believe now to trust your intuition, to find love and love at first sight is not unrealistic. People think that it’s not. It’s ridiculous that you really need to meet somebody, but don’t be too hasty. Your brain is hardwired to say yes or no at high speeds and said what we were built for making cuts faster than the rose ceremony on the bachelor. In fact, your brain sizes up a potential mate within the first three minutes of meeting. That’s right, three minutes. It’s an intuitive skill developed millions of years ago to distinguished friend from foe, mate from mistake. So let’s break down the chemistry of all this important. First three minutes at any government your brain is taking at any given moment, your brain is taking in 400 billion bits of information. However, of those 400 billion bits, you are consciously processing only 2000 bits. So no matter how many mindfulness meditations or therapy sessions you might’ve attended, you will not be conscious of most of the information that you’re taking into your brain. It’s a good thing too for the sheer volume of information would completely overload you. But just because you’re not aware of them doesn’t mean that those unconscious pieces of information don’t have an impact. They are being processed and synthesized to create your preferences and your a romantic and sexual preferences are no exception. Your brain has constructed a template of everything it desires most out of your relationships. A well known researcher named John Money Dub, this template, the love map, it is totally subconscious breakdown of everything that turns us on neurologically and emotionally. So loved maps very in nature from one person to another. Love Mount might determine that that only waifish short haired Brunettes do the trick. Or while another might prefer buxom redheads. Your love map locks in your physical and even emotional type as well as your as more atypical sexual needs, behaviors, fetishes, and all of that. By the age of seven. That’s right. By the first grade, your brain had already cemented the bulk of your sexual preferences. So sometimes they say that the person you fall in love with is like your first crush or your first, your kindergarten teacher. Your brain has essentially written up a casting spell for your ideal lover and it turns out the first audition is less than than one second long. The seemingly intangible sexual chemistry between two people actually has a biological source called pheromones. In 2008 researchers discovered in almost imperceptible tiny olfactory nerve called the nerve zero that they believe is the root through which pheromones are pure assessed the fibers of this nerve start in the nose, but completely bypass the olfactory cortex, the part of the brain that processes smell and go straight to the sexual centers of the brain. So even though you’re not conscious of a smell, your partner’s sent is a huge factor in your attraction. You have an unconscious sniffer you’re not even aware of that helps you choose your mate. So typically we are attracted to a particular kind of smell to the smell of a person who has a different MHC from ours or major his duck histo compatibility complex is a set of genes that play a fundamental role in your immune system. Family members share similar genes and therefore often similar immune systems. So the idea we are unconsciously seeking out a mate with a different MHC suggests that impart sent cues of all to protect close family members from procreating with each other. Research has demonstrated to that pregnant women are actually drawn to the center of people with a similar chemical makeup during this crucial time, which indicates their brains are prioritizing the safety of a familiar tribe over sexual needs. And three, of course, poets and painters have been praising merely a dry, biological or chemical response for thousands of years. Truly, there’s a sacredness and intangible beauty about the way two people are drawn to each other. You feel it a shiver of energy and immediate recognition, a magnetic pole, and at the electric excitement and the novelty and discovery of this other being, it’s completely spiritual. A quantum experience according to Laura Berman in her book quantum love, which I totally recommend. So what’s happening on the quantum level and we’re talking about quantum physics and love. Well, one thing we know about is quantum entanglement to quantum particles can become entangled by being together and then when shot out at large distances will interact and do things that make them entangled. If you destroy one, the other one goes away as if they’re coherent right next to each other. And so what happens is we meet people in our lives and we are energies become entangled just like a quantum object does and we may not even know we have boyfriends or girlfriends in our past that we are linked to and we don’t even know. There’s a sharing of energies that occurs. These energy links are part of what’s happening on a quantum level. Also, our habits and our programs are what’s happening. We ended up moving into these programs and they simply, by creating coherence, the program begins to observe itself. The really amazing thing about interactions with people with whom we share a vibrational frequency is that when our energies come together, they actually combined to create their own energy field or relationship field. This new relationship field comes with its shared purpose and its own voice and we start talking about the relationship field in the combining energies that occur in the early moments of attraction. That’s when things start to get really interesting. Neale Donald Walsch describes this moment perfectly in his book conversations with God. He sets the scene. Two people, Tom and Mary are on opposite sides of a room. The each radiate their personal energy, their energies meet midway between them and unite to create a new energy unit. Walsh calls Tom Mary as they both feed energy to Tom. Mary energy is sent back to each of them through the quantum field and the closer they draw to each other, the shorter and more intense the corridor of energy becomes. With each step in the other direction, that intensity vibrates and burns whiter and brighter and deeper and the intensity of their shared energy field. Their relationship field will continue to be amplified by the individual vibrations, which are clearly a frequency match. And so you’re finding somebody that goes beyond just their looks or whatever that you’ve created, and there’s a resonance. So take responsibility for your own energy and what energy you’re putting out because the energy you put out is what you will attract back to you. And don’t let fear or grief destroy you if you’re afraid of men or women, or do you have fears about getting into a relationship? Don’t let those fears destroy you because it’s your responsibility. If you don’t want to be alone, that you don’t have to. There’s nothing wrong with being alone because one of the greatest joys in the world is to be single. And if you’re single now and you didn’t want to be, enjoy it. It’s a wonderful, wonderful, joyous thing. No, I’m not talking about too much about sex. There’s a lot of books that we can talk about it, but we have to agree that sex is a powerful thing when it comes to creation. Sex Chore Energy is the Energy of creation. And as Napoleon hill talks about, sexual transmutation is responsible for people becoming rich. And I believe what he’s saying is he’s, you’re transmuting the energy from sexual to higher states. He makes the argument that people, when they turned 41 or more likely to be rich because their energy level, they were able to move beyond that sexual energy that doesn’t want to go away. So he’s literally talking about shock or is here. But the idea is that if you can avoid letting go of your sexual energy and not using it in a certain way, you can channel that energy. So there is power in not having sex or having that energy. What are the reasons that we have sex researchers? Cindy Meston and David bus asked 203 men and 241 women to list the primary reasons why they had sex. They then they compile the list of 237 response reasons and presented it to another group asking them to rank how often those reasons had motivated their own sex lives. What resulted was a ranked list of the main reasons why people had sex. Number one. I’ve listed some of the other, so I’ve listed some of the other common reasons in this table, and I’ll talk about it in a second, but the idea is through me, to me, by me, it’s always about whether or not it’s an interaction with us or someone else. There’s many different motivations. We have motivations of our own selves too. We have motivations of the hunt. We have motivations of power. One of my girlfriends in the past, when I asked her what she thought and love what she says, it’s power. Why do we fall in love to fill that bond, to understand that feeling of that moment. Some, some, like I wanted to express my love for the person. That was a reason. Others calibrate. I wanted to harm another person and they’ll have sex out of anger. It was out of duty because they felt guilty if they didn’t. So I’m said, sex is an amazing way to connect with my partner all the way to I’m not worthy of the love I desire. I believe that you can have a glimpse of enlightenment, no matter what your frequency is. When you start out having sex. I view orgasm as a shortcut to this feeling, state of bliss, high level of energy. It’s a huge spike and the rush of the energy as you climax giving you a glimpse into full blown through, you have all of eternity, but whether you stay there and go back to the lower frequency state and large part, it can be a quick blip like a spike on a heart monitor or you can reset the bar and you help you maintain or set a new bar for your coherent state of being. And the bliss found with orgasm moves even higher when it comes to a state of true love. The coat most common limiting beliefs that I come across when I try to help people in this regard is that I’ll never find a real love. That’s a belief that a lot of people even don’t know their have. So this abusive or untrustworthy behavior is just how men are like somebody is being abusive or unavailable or untrustworthy. They’re just terrible. They’ll tell you a story about this and what this man doesn’t have terrible he is. And then they create the belief that this behavior is just how men are or woman does something terrible and then they just think that’s how women are. Because that’s what I had in the past. I’m telling you personally, from somebody that has walked in on two of his girlfriends having sex with somebody else, there was a time when I was afraid to find, find, find love, because I had been betrayed in those ways. But once I took responsibility for it and it was my own fault because I had not loved in the proper ways, I was able to let that go. But sometimes we can’t. So a lot of people have this belief as soon as they let down their defenses that they’ll get hurt and that love can never feel good and that is not a true belief. The other shoe is going to eventually drop or all men will leave or all women leave or all men cheat. We’re all women cheat or women or men don’t really want a nice guy. They always want a bad boy. All the good ones are taken. I’ve heard that belief. You may even mean said it. I’ll just lose my power if I give into love or I’m not. I’m just not good at being vulnerable or love never lasts. My guess is that you relate to several of these beliefs on this list and you could probably add a few others, but these beliefs didn’t appear out of thin air. Where do your beliefs come from? Find out where they are and change the story of why this beliefs came from and your belief may change. I’m not talking about religious beliefs or your personal opinions, but experiences that you had. We have incidents that happened to us and we don’t make a big deal about it. Somebody says something terrible about us or destroys our own self confidence and we can literally make that one incident where something happened destroyed our whole lives and make it take away our ability to love finding true love is not obtaining a particular object or an achievement. I’m telling you there’s one way that one under exercise start looking for the beauty and everything. Something that I have found very effective. If you’re looking for love, start looking for the beauty in everything. When you’re walking down the street, every single flower and Buggin plant, make them beautiful and go through a program in your mind where you make them beautiful and in and observe their beauty. Can you? It gives you this kind of loving kindness and it’s a practice of altruistic love and connects you to love something that Buddhist meditators often do. It is the commitment to counteracting negative experiences with a loving perspective. I believe that this, this connects to generosity of true love. As you choose to believe the best of your partner and see even difficult experiences as a gift. They’re beautiful loving kindness meditation, yeah is another good one. I’ll creating several meditation soon related to this particular episode to help you find your soulmate to let go of a past relationship and to find that loving kindness, but you must find a way to practice four types of love with four kinds of people are respected. Beloved, a dearly beloved, a neutral person and a hostile person. You must find a way to love all of those kinds of people. Place focus on yourself and mentally dissolve the barriers between yourself and the other people that you’re thinking about in your own mind. Find love for them. Find that people in your life and create love for them. No matter what we recognize the truth that we are all one in that we should. We love all. Because when you find that it unlocks this ability to love. That is truly wonderful. Meditation is a wonderful way to train your brain to see your partner through the lens of true love. Has your loving perception informs your relationships, relationships, reality, so too will your energy state create even more opportunities to strengthen and solidify that reality? Guided Meditation have proven to be extremely powerful arbiters of change in your mental and physical state. I know you’ve talked, we’ve talked about visualization. I’ll be doing a podcast about that, about visualization. You can use it in training your body. You can use it in so many from these widely used in the sports world for basketball players and vision. Their free throws going in. The basket swimmers envision their bodies executing, but perfect butterfly stroke and Olympic skiers practice how they’ll move down the course. That visualization is powerful and has differentiated the champions. It is so effective because your brain can’t tell the difference sometimes between something you’re actually experiencing in something you’re imagining if you’re doing it properly because your brain thinks you’re actually experiencing the goal of your meditation. It initiates a physiological response to what it believes is happening to you. So choose to believe the best in your partner. Choose to believe the best meditation can activate your muscles, wrote, raise and lower your body temperature even changed your cells when it comes to love. So I recommend if you want to find love to meditate, gives the it gives the brain what it thinks is real life experience. And by changing the perception of an experience, by visualizing that you’re in love, it helps the brain except that neural pathway. Once you find love in the movie conversations with God, the character, Neil says to God, I wish I just want my life back and God responds, you can’t have anything that you want. They then have an entire dog. What God explains to you that by wanting something, all you get is the experience and the feeling of wanting, and don’t get me wrong, I know you want to meet your soul mate. That’s a given. In fact, the wanting you feel is a powerful force that sets the process of manifestation into motion. But if what God said to Neil is true, that wanting only produces more wanting, then once we’ve identified what it is we want, we must learn how to shift our state from wanting to having, it’s the simplest terms. This is the process of living as if living as if means stepping outside of your current reality and stepping into the reality you wish to be true. It’s when your daily actions reflect and are congruent with your, that your soulmate exists and is already yours. The best example of this principle I’ve ever heard was it was told to me once by this woman, I believe she was a writer and she, she’d be claim whose I, I can’t quite, I think, I can’t quite remember her name, but she, she became clear when she was ready to share her life with someone. She began living as if that person were already a part of her life and she would play music she imagined he would enjoy. She wore pretty nightgowns to bed instead of our typical tee shirt and sweats. And every morning she would feel that they were waking up and starting their day together and every night at dinner she would light candles and set a place for him at the table. Now, according to this writer, the guy who eventually arrived, she sent a clear message to the universe and the universe delivered or she moved herself towards that reality and it was already there and it just integrated itself into her life. And I can tell you that I did that. That’s the way that I imagined it going through setting out at a dinner table table. It’s an easy shift because you, if you’re living alone, you get used to a certain habit and then you’re like, oh, there’s a party that might be like, I don’t know if I want to have a relationship because I really like being alone. So by forcing yourself to live with as if it starts to change things, for example, buy two tickets to a concert or play that several months in a way, holding the intention that you’ll attend it with whoever it is. Maybe it can be a random person. It’s interesting when you do that, you find that you’ll find somebody that wants to go with you or the next time you’re shopping for greeting cards, pick up a couple that would be fitting to give to your beloved on a birthday or celebrate your anniversary, knowing that something at times soon that they will be here and are there things for your home you’re waiting to buy. If you knew with absolute certainty, whoever it is they’re going to be, your life would be walking through your front door with a mat, with a matter of moments or weeks or months. Have you prepared your home? Is there a part of you that doesn’t want them to come into your home because it’s not ready yet? So you would get new sheets and towels are dishes. You clean your bathroom and plant the garden and you know, believe that you, assuming on the way and creating the space for the person in all areas of your life becomes a priority. And it’s also a part of loving yourself. Each of us has a unique set of preferences and standards and what is completely acceptable. One person could be a deal breaker for another. A certain degree of compromise is to be expected in every relationship, and I’m certainly not suggesting that you or your soulmate, we’ll live happily ever after without having to make a single adjustment. Compromising and accommodating to one’s person’s needs are, are part of growth, both as a couple and as individuals. However, if you find that being particular person means having to compromise one or more of your core values, I would suggest that he or she is probably not the person for you. If you know you absolutely children and you meet somebody who absolutely does not, that’s that’s a deal breaker. Make your soulmate list. That’s what you need to do. It’s a great way to clarify what are your values and the and a clear idea of what you want before you meet your soulmate. The clearer and more clarified you are, the easier it will be to recognize them because you’ll have the picture starting to draw. I believe in this particular case it is in the details and there is no detail that’s not too important. Once you’re very clear about the characteristics you’re willing to compromise on in which you are not, you’re ready to create your list. Begin by thinking about the aspects of your life that you look forward to sharing with a partner. The things you look forward to doing together and the way you would like to feel in his or her presence. How would you, how would I like to feel when I wake up in the morning next to my soulmate? What kind of lifestyle we lead? Are we both workaholics? Are couch potatoes? How we spend our weekends are going to hike local trails or go into the movies or cultural events or travel or hanging out around the house. Do we have or want children? Am I willing to accept someone else’s children into my life? Telling the universe the characteristics you’re looking for in a soulmate is similar to [inaudible] typing a keyword into an internet search engine. The more specific you are, the greater the chances your search will yield exactly what you are looking for. You’re playing a very specific order. You’re placing it with the universe. You’re moving to our very specific universe, so as you’re writing your list, make sure it includes two important criteria. There’s a lot of times you’ll forget, make sure your soulmate is single and whatever it is that you want them to be, if it’s straight or gay, you have to be specific about that. You may find your soulmate and they don’t love you because they’re gay or whatever it is and are straight and to make sure that they’re available for healthy, loving, committed, longterm relationship or marriage, if that’s what you want. My soulmate is someone who lives within so many miles away from me and is willing to move here. Love is a triumph of imagination over intelligence according to Hl Mencken, so create your soulmate list. There’s a handful of qualities and traits. There’s, and it’s good to look up different ideas and look up different words and cinnamon. Synonyms as descriptors. Are they abundant, adorable, affectionate, ambitious, articulate, beautiful, bubbly, caring, charismatic, creative, considerate, emotionally available and Deering, funny, generous grant relationships, healthy and independent. They cook, they play golf, they bungee jump. Whatever makes you excited. They, they loving, they love nurturing, playful, sexy, sensual, smart, spiritually open or they attend church or temple or mosque. They’re successful, are supportive of your career dreams or whatever it is that you do. They’re intelligent, they’re honest, they’re loving, they’re emotionally healthy, they’re fun, they’re sweet, they’re attractive, they’re secure, they provide safety. So you create affirmations and you can make them specific about the type of man that you’re with or woman or whatever it is that you want to create. The more specific, how could they, how could the universe resist to give this to you? The better it is. The more specific the university’s racing to find that exact order. One of the characters on the secret, John Asara, he says that he met his wife that way. One of the greatest things that you need to learn before you fall in love and while you’re in love is the power of forgiveness. You may not have forgiven yourself for things which may not allow you to give you into the relationship that you want. At the same time, things will come up in a relationship and you have to learn the ability to forgive. I’ve discovered some of the many ways soulmates find each other. When you hear stories, it’s pretty empowering to realize that even the most mystical, magical encounters require the soon to be lovers, to take action, to deliberately put themselves in the right place at the right time. They set an intention, they follow it with an action and make a list of desired qualities. They set the intention, they find the perfect life partner. It’s that simple, but you have to be on the lookout for clues and prepare yourself mentally and emotionally, physically when fake calls upon you. A lot of times I’ve seen people who are reunited with childhood or high school sweethearts. How many times have you had the thought, I wonder what happened to so and so may people find their true love by attending a reunion as a result of hearing about a long lost friend and then making the first move to reconnect. I’ve seen people meet their soulmates and not true and that way, even personally, people that I’ve loved and found better loves with their, with their childhood sweethearts, and that’s all good because love is wonderful. Some people, myself included, have had dreams or premonitions that provided clues about how or where or when to find their soulmate and they acted upon these clues. One morning, five years ago, Englishman David Brown woke up with a cell phone number running through his mind. Brown had no idea where the number came from, but he sent a text matches to it. Anyway, hoping to solve the mystery. He reached Michelle Kitson who lived 60 miles away. She had no explanation as to why her number would be running through his head, but after several messages back and forth, they ended up meeting and falling in love. David and Michelle were recently married and have just returned from their honeymoon in India to stories like that are clear reminder to listen to our dreams, trust her intuition, and have faith. The universities even now sending a signs that will lead to our love. My great hope is that you find your true love. Many of the people that found their soulmates had a gut feeling they should go to a specific place or made the choice to honor their intuition even if they had other plans. One woman who is especially who actually feeling is quite depressed, had an impulse to go to an aquarium someplace you’ve never been before and had no real desire to visit, but what she went there, she met the dolphin trainer with whom she fell in love and they’re now happily married and living in Hawaii. Another woman received a last minute invitation to a party. She really didn’t feel like socializing that night, but something inside her urged her to go. She met her husband at that party. More than a few were fixed up on blind dates by friends and while they had never thought of themselves as the blind date type, they followed through on ways to discover that Cuba had struck. Another common thing that I’ve noticed is that soulmates, that people that find their soulmates, they take action, they join [inaudible] dating servers and met their beloved. I have more than one for who met there that who met their soulmate or or their their true love on an online dating service and it’s okay. In fact, an estimated 80% of the population will have an online virtual identity by the year 2011 and just in case you think that there’s a lack of internet savvy will prevent you from taking advantage of the latest social networking technology. Think again, I’ve heard of 80 year old women in just taking auction with a little help from one or two people and making computer literate friends and finding their true love on match.com okay. And number six, many soulmates are met because they take a bold step to take and make adventure. So you may go out and want to look at the whales for some reason, and you meet your true love. Sometimes the act of taking a bold step or following your heart’s desire actually leads you to the doorstep of your beloved for in many different ways. We could see that you’ll Gandhi once said, we must become the change we wish to see in the world. And as you prepare to manifest your soulmate, you can apply the timeless wisdom to your own life by becoming the lover, the friend, the playmate, the partner and soulmate that you’ve been looking for, become the person that you want to be loved. It’s a reflection on a mirror in front of you. It’s amazing what you can do. So who do you want to manifest to love? You don’t need to have a specific face. Give the universe an open invitation to find your perfect soulmate and trust in the universe and find that person you’re attracted to who offers you the greatest possibility for growth for both human beings to evolve in their greatest expression. Find the one that fits the key into the lock. Understand that love can be a form of addiction and the you need to control it and understand it. Don’t let it overcome you and destroy your life. That’s what I’ve found so far about creating relationships and people doing it all the time. People were finding love all the time, and this is so complicated and there’s so much more to it and there’s so many different dating services that this subject could be talked about for thousands of pages and hundreds of hours, but that’s just a basic idea of some ways that you can use the way your brain works and the way that you create your reality to really have a powerful effect, to find the love of your life or to improve the relationship that you’re in. And I hope in some way that this, this podcast helps you to find the love of your life or to make your relationship so much better because you deserve that because you have power over your reality. It’s been a real joy that you joined me. I’m so grateful that you listened to this podcast and I hope you find that love out there that’s meant for you. And if you’re in love, I bless you and I hope that it magnifies and gets better every day. And thank you so much for joining the reality revolution.

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